By Jay Tilles
Even after years of inactivity, My Chemical Romance is still considered the voice of a generation and the face of emo. When they broke up in 2013 teens and twenty-somethings around the world let out a collective moan.
“My Chemical Romance had built within its core, a fail-safe,” said Gerard Way as part of his breakup announcement. “A doomsday device, should certain events occur or cease occurring, would detonate. I shared knowledge of this ‘flaw’ within weeks of its inception. Personally, I embraced it because, again, it made us perfect. A perfect machine, beautiful, yet self-aware of its system. Under directive to terminate before it becomes compromised. To protect the idea–at all costs. This probably sounds like something ripped from the pages of a four-color comic book, and that’s the point. No compromise. No surrender. No f—ing s—.”
“The breakup was not caused by any one person,” Way continued. “I can assure you there was no divorce, argument, failure, accident, villain, or knife in the back that caused this, again this was no one’s fault.”
Soon after the announcement, each member was onto pursuing his own artistic destiny, but none have achieved the success equal the to sum of the band’s parts.
With each passing day, fans shed more tears for their band, longing for the slightest hint that a reunion is in cards… but so far it’s the gift that Santa never delivers.
But if the band was to actually reunite, the excitement would likely result in the biggest tour of the year, and for some, it would be the most important tour of their life.
So, we got to thinking—if granted a wish by the musical gods, we’d ask for the band’s triumphant return.
Here’s what that wish-come-true might look like (again, this is just wishful thinking!):
Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Ray Toro and Frank Iero along and James Dewees would make a surprise appearance at LA’s emo headquarters, the Echoplex, appearing under the name Skagboys (like the name My Chemical Romance, it’s a reference to the Irvine Welsh novel). The reunion would be executed with Seal Team Six-like secrecy. Concertgoers would shuffle into the venue as they do every week and line up against the stage to see some emo band they’ve never heard of. If some did read the marquee and managed to figure out the connection, their theory would soon be shattered as five decidedly not famous musicians took the stage to soundcheck. The guys would go through all the motions as if they were going to actually play a set. But just as the band readies to play the first note, the singer announces that he thinks its best of they watch the performance from the crowd and proceed to set down their instruments. As they slide down into the audience, five new guys walk onto the stage from behind the curtain. The audience loses their minds as they realize the emperors of emo have taken the stage.
The local cellular network nearly crumbles under the weight of the digital traffic coming out of the 500 person capacity theater. Within minutes local news crews and bloggers around the globe would be awoken to write stories about the greatest reunions ever.
After a full set and lengthy encore, Way would tearfully thank the crowd and announce the band would be embarking on a world tour with tickets going on sale the very next morning at 10:00 am resulting in thousands of millennials spending the night planning their ticket-buying strategies.
The band’s announcement would send excitement and shockwaves of anxiety through tens of thousands because My Chemical Romance would play one small venue and one large venue in each city. These would be clubs, with fewer than 1,000 seats. Proceeds from every small show would be donated directly to cancer research. Sasoin and Hearts Like Lions would serve as support.
Here’s what we hope the tour would look like.
My Chemical Romance Big & Small Reunion Tour
7/8 – San Diego, CA @ The Observatory North Park
7/9 – San Diego, CA @ PetCo Park
7/11 – Los Angeles, CA @ The Echoplex
7/12 – Los Angeles, CA @ The Forum
7/14 – Sacramento, CA @ Ace of Spades
7/15 – Sacramento, CA @ Golden 1 Center
7/16 – San Jose, CA @ The Ritz
7/17 – San Jose, CA @ SAP Center
7/20- Portland, OR @ Crystal Ballroom
7/21 – Portland, OR @ Moda Center
7/23 – Seattle, WA @ The Showbox
7/24 – Seattle, WA @ Key Arena
7/25 – Boise, ID @ Knitting Factory
7/26 – Boise, ID @ Taco Bell Arena
7/28 – Salt Lake City, UT @ The Complex Salt
7/29 – Salt Lake City, UT @ Vivant Smart Home Arena
8/8 – Denver, CO @ The Summit Music Hall
8/9 – Denver, CO @ Pepsi Center
8/13 – Lincoln, NE @ Bourbon Theatre
8/14 – Lincoln, NE @ Pinnacle Bank Arena
8/16 – Minneapolis, MN @ First Avenue
8/17 – Minneapolis, MN @ Target Center
8/19 – Boston, MA @ House of Blues
8/20 – Boston, MA @ TD Garden
9/1 – Atlanta, GA @ The Masquerade
9/2 – Atlanta, GA @ Infinite Energy Center
9/5 – Orlando, FL @ House of Blues
9/6 – Orlando, FL @ Amway Center
9/7 – Jacksonville, FL @ 1904 Music Hall
9/8 – Jacksonville, FL @ Veterans Memorial Arena
9/15 – Houston, TX @ Firehouse Saloon
9/16 – Houston, TX @ Toyota Center
9/18 – San Antonio, TX @ Sam’s Burger Joint
9/19 – San Antonio, TX @ AT&T Center
9/20 – Dallas, TX @ Gas Monkey Live!
9/21 – Dallas, TX @ American Airlines Center
9/24 – Tucson, AZ @ Rialto Theatre
9/25 – Phoenix, AZ @ Talking Stick Resort Arena
9/26 – Las Vegas, NV @ House of Blues
9/27 – Las Vegas, NV @ T-Mobile Arena
9/29 – Grand Rapids, MI @ The Intersection
9/30 – Grand Rapids, MI @ Van Andel Arena
10/3 – Cincinnati, OH @ Bogart’s
10/4 – Cincinnati, OH @ U.S. Bank Arena
10/5 – Cleveland, OH @ House of Blues
10/9 – Cleveland, OH @ Quicken Loans Arena
10/10 – Pittsburgh, PA @ Stage AE
10/11 – Pittsburgh, PA @ PPG Paints Arena
10/14 – New York, NY @ Bowery Ballroom
10/15 – New York, NY @ Madison Square Garden
10/16 – New York, NY @ Madison Square Garden
10/17 – New York, NY @ Madison Square Garden