Ice-T Did Not Enjoy Recording A ‘Dungeons & Dragons’ Audiobook At All
By Scott T. Sterling
In the world of music, rappers have led the way in finding ways to generate income through endorsements, entrepreneurism, and other ancillary means. Genre pioneers like Ice Cube, Dr. Dre and Ice-T line their coffers by starring in movies and hawking a never-ending range of goods and services.
When Ice-T learned his manager set him up with a job reading an audiobook, he thought it would amount to easy money. He thought wrong.
Talking on his podcast, Final Level, the rapper detailed the process of reading a book based on the sci-fi fantasy board game Dungeons & Dragons (“it took me three and a half hours to read 25 pages”), calling it “some of the most crazy, deep, deep nerd s**t ever invented.
“Every word you’re saying is pretty much made up,” he marveled. “Mother****ers talk like Yoda: ‘Outside I go, into the sun thereof, in, out….’ how do you read this s***?”
Ice-T related how someone on the session tried to encourage him throughout, despite his trouble getting a handle on the fantasy tale, where “this mother****er got a sword that talks to him” and “mother****ers live in places that don’t exist, and it comes with a map. My God.
“I needed breaks. I needed water. The guy was in the other room coaching me,” he laughed. “‘Don’t worry, Ice. You can make it. You’re doing really good.’ He was saying, ‘yo, people have broken down trying to read that stuff.'”
After telling his manager to never book him (zing!) for something like that again, he made a suggestion of the kind of audiobook he might enjoying recording.
“Let me read some porno or something, a sex book,” he said, promising to reveal the D & D audiobook’s title when it’s finished. “I know about that.”
Ice-T, currently starring in his fourteenth season on popular NBC detective show, Law & Order: SVU, announced late last year that his ’90s hardcore band, Body Count, will release a new album (entitled Texas Chainsaw Massacre) sometime in 2014.