Adam Levine has been named PEOPLE Magazine‘s Sexiest Man Alive and the internet is straight up pissed, with many questioning the esteemed honor that has been passed down from actor Channing Tatum to The Voice coach and Maroon 5 frontman. Radio.com took a quick litmus test from the for the most vitriolic and comical reactions to Levine’s new crown. Read below:
10. SPIN: “Moves Like a Jagoff: No one agrees with ‘People’ magazine’s new issue.”
That's weird, because I voted him person I'd most like to pee on. #adamlevine—
nick griffin (@thenickgriffin) November 21, 2013
8. Madeleine Davies of Jezebel: “People has officially taken ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ from enjoyably generic to Maroon 5 song-level repellent.”
7. Jimmy Kimmel: “He kind of has an unfair advantage. The guy spends his whole week sitting next to CeeLo, who looks like a Cadbury Egg.”
6. Jessica Coen of Jezebel: “In a stunning victory for douchebags everywhere, Levine joins the ranks of a bunch of other white guys.”
5. Slate: “Levine is a mass-produced parody of what an ‘alternative’ dreamboat is supposed to be. […] The chest of the Sexiest Man Alive is permanently inscribed with a string of Mardi Gras beads.”
4. “He’s extremely average-looking,” Lisa DeBruine, a psychologist at the University of Glasgow’s Face Lab in Scotland, who studies the psychology of attractiveness.
I don’t want to live in a world where Adam Levine is considered the Sexiest Man Alive—
Keith Stewart (@KeithStewart) November 20, 2013
2. Madeleine Davies of Jezebel: “Adam Levine, a.k.a the human equivalent of testing positive for chlamydia.”
The Dec. 2 issue of PEOPLE Magazine hits newsstands nationwide tomorrow (Nov. 22).